Independence = Loneliness?

 The mist last Monday when I drove back from Gatton. Scary eh?

As I sit here attempting to pound out the last couple of pages of my final essay, I feel dreadfully alone. Why? perhaps it's that inner needy person within me finally starting to whine.

I've always prided myself with being an independent girl, one who isn't bothered with eating alone, or watching a movie alone, or walking around shopping alone, I find my alone time very refreshing and rejunvinating in some sense. It's a time where I don't have to smile if I don't want to, don't need to come up with trivial banter if my jaw is too tired too, no need to compromise my time, tastes or preferences to anyone if I don't wish to etc. In short, I enjoy being selfish sometimes and simply not having to share myself or my time with anyone else.

I consider something such as that somesort of a skill, a survival skill. Being able to do that means that if ever I start developing a pungent BO and nobody in the world (not even the bush turkeys) are willing to 'friend' me or come within 1m of me, it means I'm not gonna keel over and die of a shattered, abandoned, lonely heart. It means I would be able to say 'I don't give a shit,' and continue sipping my bubble tea as I walk down Queen Street on my own (which actually, was what I did today while waiting for reports to be printed).

So what's the problem then? The problem is, by getting so comfortable with being by yourself, you sometimes end up recluding and just not bothering to interact anymore. I mean, I haven't gotten to that extent, but the thing with human interaction and any form of relationship building is this:

It takes 2 hands to clap, and it takes effort to build relationships. Even if it's with a bloody rock.

And if you understand how much that 'effort' actually makes, especially when trying to break into asian cliques (particularly the Singaporean cliques), you'd understand that if you just sat back and waited for people to talk to you and ask you to join their group, you can wait till kingdom come.

Unless of course you're very attractive/hot/good-looking, (because humans are inherently superficial whether you like it or not, and naturally respond better to good-looking people, I'm not kidding) but let's save that for another day, it's too ugly a post post (ironically)

So here I am, attempting to focus my thoughts on my essay and the poor semantic deficits of Mr CC instead of looking around the internet for more useless things that make me feel even more alone.

(I actually youtubed 'Brain Concentration Music', and it actually kinda works!)

~Adios

By the ways, pictures! Ladybird nails for the last week of clinic! (albeit knowing how unproffesional they are)

On days like these...

I love my life =))

See, what did I tell you about the flying emotions of females?

I think a very cute demonstration of how our emotions can be like pendulums would be the short scene in Disney's 'Tangled' where Rapunzel battled with her new-found freedom and guilty conscience:




One of the most enjoyable scenes in the movie in my opinion! =)

I think countries could utilise women in new warfare, train women in the army, and when they're about to launch an attack or defend etc, have some fancy chemical released to induce all their periods at the same time, plus, make their living conditions as hot, humid and unbearable as possible 2 days before the war and then release the massive compounded pms-ing females onto unexpecting enemies.
Oooooo... idea...

Heh heh heh

3 papadams, 2 cream biscuits and coffee, and i still don't feel content. Eating definitely doesn't help ease mental dissatisfaction!

Why are girls such slaves to their hormones and emotions? It's not fair.

I HATE ASSIGNMENTS!!! ARGHHHHHH


They make me feel stupid, incompetent, ignorant and just plain frustrated.

Basically they show the true ability of my cognitive and linguistic capabilites, which ain't high enough apparently.

=((((((

I hope I get one of my favourite classes to look after tomorrow, and I hope I get to see my favourite kids.

Decisions decisions

For the splittest second and the shortest moment today in church, I found myself toying with the idea of possibly returning to Singapore to work when I graduate.

Hmmm.. I wonder why hey?

But the thought of crowded trains, icky humidity, masses of 'dulan' faces and my sister not being there for the next couple of years knocked me back to reality.

Maybe I'm still disillusioned by the seemingly worriless life as a student here in Brisbane, perhaps the real reality will hit me then.

Grease Review!

Mark and I went to watch a Saturday Matinee of Harvest Theatre's Grease at QPAC last week. (some form of a birthday celebration for him)

For those of you who aren't aware, Harvest Theatre is a production group that produced last year's Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat. They'll also be putting on Jesus Christ Superstar in about a couple of month's time (however I really dislike that musical and shall not be wasting any money on that)

Last year's production of Joseph was splendid, which was why I really had my hopes up for Grease. Unfortunately, it was quite a letdown and I felt that my $50 ticket was not quite worth that value. Here were the up and downsides:

1) The lead's vocals were a little weak, with him seemingly being more interested in his supposedly 'sexy' gait rather than his actully singing voice. His female co-star Sandy was pretty good though

2) The sets were brilliant, and the lighting was so so. Music was quite all right, nothing fantastic but nothing ear-shattering

3) The biggest letdown was the sound system. I seriously felt that the soundman was either (a) hungover, (b) half asleep, or (c) a 15 year old. Mics weren't turned on and off on time, the balance of voices was really really off, with the balance shifted too much to the treble and the backup singers and music often covered up the lead vocals, resulting in songs sounding literally lyric-less. I've read another review that mentioned the same problem and reckon that it wasn't only for the one we watched. (I think the soundman was really really bad)

4) The costumes were pretty decent, however I do wish that the guys were jeans that didn't look exactly the same, it seemed pretty obvious that they were all bought from the same place, and weren't exactly as snugly fitting as the original Danny Zuko's (John Travolta)

5) They did add some spice and fun to this production, which was probably the highlight. Many of the non-lead singers were fantastic, my personal favourite was 'Go Back to High School' where they adopted a very black, diva/gospel delivery. It was absoluitely brilliant! They should have made it the pre-interval song, because their version of 'Hopelessly devoted to you' was somehow lacking in some musical sense and ended rather suddenly and awkwardly, resulting in a number of stunned faces in the audience when the lights came on for the interval.


So those are my thoughts on Grease by Harvest Rain Theatre. Will be catching Ignatians' version of Rent next week with Mark at the Schonell Theatre! Tickets are only $35 for concession! So even if it were a let down I think it should be ok =)

Wong Fu Productions

Have you ever heard of Wong Fu Productions?


Wong Fu Productions is an independant filmaking company based in California, USA. Comprising of 3 Asian Americans Philip Wang, Ted Fu and Wesley Chan, these 3 young men have made themselves not only massive on Youtube, but have also had their works featured at a number of national and international film festivals, including the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival, San Diego Asian Film Festival and the Cannes Film Festival. ( Now I just stole that last line from Wiki, which brings up another point, they've actually been Wiki-fied)

I personally love the insight Philip Wang has when he makes his films. If you have a look at their website (both on youtube as well as the main website), you'll see just what a wide array and variety of short films they've made. From the arty-farty-no-words-or-actors-just-music films, to the downright jackass-ish ones where Phillip provides endless 'advice' on how to get the girl, as well as many Vlogs.



I personally found their recent feature 'short film' to be beautifully, well, I won't say it's beautiful, that's just too vague, more like, poignantly written and executed. Sometimes I'm still amazed that a guy could come up with such insight (not to sound sexist), but we know how femalse are supposedly more in-tuned with or feelings (yadayadayada), but I reckon I wouldn't have been able to organise the progress of a relationship that clearly, accurately and poetically.

Acting might not be the best point of their productions ( I must admit they've had their share of not-so-talented-people), and the script sometimes can be a little.. iff-y, but filmography and cinematography I find to be amazing. (For stuff being shot on a DSLR, it makes it look so easy).

If you do have time, have a look at this film: These Four Walls (one of the arty-farty-no-words-no-actors film by Wesley)

http://wongfuproductions.com/WFvideos/2011/01/these-four-walls/

And then take a look at the video on how the 'special effects' were made. It made me realise the ingenuity and creativity film-makers (in general) need to possess (and most likely do). Sometimes I wish I was even half as blessed with their talent!

This week, I mainly felt that WongFu has served to be my source of comfort and entertainment all-in-one just because of the variety which they offer. (They even design and sell their own T-shirts). Girls, if you're ever feeling all emo-y and need a video to go all sappy on, go to WongFu. If you need a cheering up or a brain break from studying, go to WongFu. If you're tired and sick of life, GO AND SLEEP LA.

Non-clinical Observation Skils

As I made a stilly decision to eat very sour greek yoghurt for lunch yesterday afternoon, I ended up with a very sore tummy and a headache and fever. (The greek yoghurt was so sour, I couldn't really tell if it was all right)

And thus, here I am at home when I was supposed to go to work, with the feeling of having been punched in the stomach, browsing youtube videos before I get to some study.

This morning, I came across this fairly interesting video from a friend off youtube: ( I'm a web idiot and don't know how to do a proper embedded video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCSGGLKx9w0

Have a quick watch so that you'll get whatever I say later on.

Having spent 2.5 years in uni doing Speech has taught me more about silent observations and picking out things from people as they speak (or behave). Well, I used to do it anyways even before I actually came to do speech, but now I can actually form more concrete conclusions about behaviours I observe rather than just say: oh... that guy talks like he has SPS (small-penis-syndrome) [Something my sister and I use to describe guys who talk big to make up for something else that lacks.]

Anyways, back to this little boy Brian, from watching a couple of his videos, I picked out a few things that I thought were interesting/stood out:

1) He glides consistantly on all his 'l's. Which, in layman's terms, basically means that all the 'l's in his words become 'y', i.e. 'like' becomes 'yike', 'election' becomes 'eyections' and so on, which actually should be a process that would've resolved at 6 years of age. It's not a huge problem with him, but it does affect his intelligibility quite a bit sometimes and you need to take a doubletake on what he's saying. Seeing that he really has the potential to become a public speaker in the future, I really suggest that he gets s Speech Therapist to help him resolve that!

2) He seems to have slight Aussie accent on a few of the words 'beans' and 'no', but it's a very transient and subtle thing (perhaps his parents or himself have had some formal education down under?)

3) Well to do family/ very educated parents: His dad bought him FIVE Moleskin notebooks. BIG A4 Moleskin notebooks. I think that says enough. And the fact that he's actually following the elections at this age says something about what his parents educate him about, which is excellent. I wish I had such awareness when I was 12, actually, I wish I had such awareness at this age.

Conclusion: I think he's a GEPer. For those of you who don't know, GEP stands for the Gifted Education Programme in Singapore where kids are picked out at the age of 10 or so to form special classes where they cover extensive grounds of content and have much more stumulating ways of teaching and are thus, labelled as being 'Gifted'.

(The irony of this is that, we actually have places in Singapore that run tuition classes that promise to get your kid into the 'Gifted Programme'. How can you teach a child to be gifted? Isn't being gifted a gift? (Now the word gift just looks and sounds weird)

Post Assignment Post

After finishing a semi-massive assignment yesterday after several nights of lost sleep (which I seldom do and is now taking a toll on my very much, older and not so healthy mind and body.) I decided to spend a night doing absolutely brainless and bimbotic things; i.e.,

1) Watching Tangled online, which, I feel is a pretty decent Disney movie (Funny in a typically Disney style and not a Pixar/Dreamworks way, know what I mean?)

2) Painted my nails!
So this was actually from a week before during the Easter holiday (so that I wouldn't look like a fool), because after I wiped them off, I painted...

MINIONS!!!

All right, so I forgot the glasses and the blue jumpsuit was actually from blue glittery nail polish, so they kind of just look like yellow things wearing aprons.

Anyways, I've decided to upkeep my blog and post at least once or twice a week. After being inspired by all the journal articles on developing literacy and reading ability in a child, I've concluded that...

Good writing only comes with practice.

Henceforth, I wiill READ AND WRITE MORE.

And I promise to limit my use of horrendous pai tia Singlish to 1 sentence per post. (Which will probably be hard to achieve seeing that the Singaporean blood is SO ingrained in me).

Stay tuned for more! =))

(I will do my best to make my posts interesting and intelligent, hurhur.. highly doubt it)