Away from home away from home

Get my title??

It's all right if you don't, haha, it's semi-nonsense anyways.

I'm sitting in the nice Gatton library blogging because I have the excuse of not bringing more work to complete. Actually, that's a complete shitty excuse, I've yet to actually complete what I've set out to do, it's just that I'm experiencing that bout of un-drivenness, or, being in Neutral. (Or in my case, I might just be going in reverse).

I feel like the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland, just that I'm half as verbally fluent and not quite 1/20th as madly ingenius as he is in the literary sense. Don't you think Lewis Carroll is amazing? If you think about it, the stuff that's in Through the Looking Glass, Alice in Wonderland and whatever other stuff written is so linguistically aware and smart that it makes me, as an undergraduate, feel like a kindergarten kid knowing what wonders the mind is able to work (If you were ever so blessed to have one)

I've been workign with Dyslexic children in clinic this semester, and boy has it been eye-opening. Well, not as eye-opening as I would like it to be (considering that this is only my second week working with them), but I was rather surprised with the emphasis placed here in Australia how much the responsibility is placed on the Speech Therapist to get these children working to their maximum potential. Whereas back home, these children are either

1) Called stupid and left to lag and be punished all their lives
2) Politically-correctly called 'Normal' and placed in either EM3, and then Normal Technical or Academic
3) Shoved into Learning Support Programs which ironically, fail to support but instead condemn the children further as they lag even more,
4) Thrown to special education classes which might actually prove to help (sometimes)
5) If they're lucky/rich enough, mummy and daddy can send them to Australia where they can receive the support/encouragement they need.

I'm not saying that it's a haven here, nor am I saying that Singapore completely slaughters children with dysexia, it is the unawareness that kills the opportunity and potential that resides in these children. (LKY should know) I have no idea how he mad eit through school, my guess is that he was mildly dyslexic.

Even in Australia, they can't emphasize how much the education system still fails to recognise the problems faced by the children, and they too have shoved teacher aide after teacher aide to help but to no avail.

And that's not even the tip of the iceberg! What about indigenous children who have a much much higher probability of experiencing literacy problems solely based on cultural differences or because of where they stay? We might say that in Singapore you see educational gaps between certain racial groups, but here, it's even worse.

But.. if you look at it in a 'WHO' kind of way, where they look at things like dyslexia or disabilities not from the point of an impairment, but from the view of how these things affect their actual functioning in life, then it might be a different story all together. If someone can't read, but is a successful dairy farmer or whatnot and is earnign shit loads, what is to say that that dyslexia was a problem?

Ok this is a boring post.

I'm just getting os overhelmed with organising and filing what I've been studying, that when I went to sleep a couple of nights back, I was having dreams about travelling up the neural pathways and reaching the different orders of neurons in the cerebral cortex, hypothalamus and midbrain (or something like that), which is freaking twisted!! Garh I woke up feeling such a hatred for Neuroanatomy for invading my dream land where I was supposed to be playing with cotton candy, ponies, fairy wings, giant jello, chocolate cake with mega sludgy icing and Hugh Jackman. uhh.. oops maybe not the last one, heh heh

I WANT TO DREAM LIKE A CHILD AGAIN.

POny pony poNY!! :D:D

I skipped class~ I skipped class~

My first lesson skipped this semester! (As opposed to the gazillion I missed last semester) And I have good reason for it!... It's raining. heh

But the sky is clearing up and I do have lessons at 10. I actually enjoy going to schools on Fridays, it's the best feeling of all because I end early, which means that the rest of my day is to myself (and generally the library), and I yet there's that satisfication coming from the 'I-learnt-something-today-from-the-teecher' feeling. So you feel like you've fulfilled your duty as a student, whilst still having a slack Friday. TGIF never meant so much =) Plus, it's normally the day MarkyMark comes back from the town in the middle-of-nowhere via horseback. (Okok, it's a BUS).

So it's a double bonus! =)

I was emailing my sister that day and she asked me how it seemed like Mark and I have a long distance relationship, which is, essentially so sometimes (Especially if either of us has exams and we don't see each other for a couple weeks at a time). But I feel that this is good 'training' in that sense. At least we have mobile phones and MSN and what not, whereas during our parents' time, they had pigeons, snail mail, the telephone with no caller ID, and telepathy.

If technically we have THAT much more times opportunity to communicate with the other in this time and century, shouldn't there be way way less divorces seeing that the couples should understand and know each other better? But of course we all know that isn't the case right? You'd probably say it isn't that our parents know each other any less than our generation knows the pther party, but perhaps it's just the lifting of taboos or the changed/thwarted views people have of marriage now.

I believe it's more like this - Our generation sucks at tolerating uncomfortable situations, compromising or just basically, sucking it up and continuing with the shit you're doing. We're all about this freedom of choice thing and tell others, why should you stay on and 'suffer'? Well, to a certain I think that's a good point... if the party was abusing you and being a complete bitch/asshole/drunk/gambler etc, but just because he's not lifting up the toilet seat? Or not helping with the dishes? I guess of course the married people are gonna scoff at me and tell me I don't know shit. And I'm not saying divorce is wrong, I personally am one of the ones who believe in freedom of not having to go through all the suffering and shit, after seeing so many mums of the earlier generation stay on in their families 'just because they have to' when it clearly is detrimental to their health.

I follow my mum's general advice to some of her clients:

If you have a tumor growing on you, cut it off straight! Or it's just going to destroy you.

Only difference I guess is, if its just a cyst, don't go cutting it off because you might cause larger problems by doing that. Or don't go cutting off your tonsils or appendix just because you think they're completely redundant (Because we've learnt from our multiple disciplinary lessons that, they are pretty handy sometimes)

Ok I need to go for class =)

I'm old!!

I know this is like, 3 weeks overdue, but it finally has been hitting me...

I AM TWENTY ONE.

21

Oh gosh... it wasn't until I saw pictures fromJuliza's 21st party that I reality hit me that, whilst my friends back home (especially the ones who can afford it), are able to spend a night splurging on a nice, all dressed up night full of friends, awesome catering, full blast airconditioned, pool-dunking, alcohol drinking (or not), celebratory nights dedicated to the day they were born and all that they have become for the past 21 years, I was here having an awesome, sweet boyfriend-orchestrated bbq out in the overcasted Gyutt Park near my home. The overcast part was pretty much the scariest part of it, cos wewere so afraid that it would just rain anytime and kill the food/us/pigeons(as if we cared). But the crappiest thing was that I had shitty cramps that day, plus, as most girls would understand that annoying predicament we deal with every month or so, comes the ever so slight crankiness, tiredness, angstiness and just low-energy level because you just feel.. FEMALE for a couple of days. I think everything would have been more perfect than it already was had I not been crampy and stressed over the getting-back-to-school syndrome and having the constant worry that my scooter would entirely back up on me (Which it eventually did a couple of weeks later when I brought it to service, but that's another update), or that I had a pile of work (at least according to my dictionary) to catch up on (Yes it was ONLY the first week of school, but hey, you guys know I'm anal about stuff)

But apart from that, every weekend from then seemed to flash past, so here I am on our lovely australian public holiday (Exhibition Day), sitting at the dining table with a satiated tummy full of failed chilli chicken (as in chilli crab sauce cooked with chicken instead - not nice) and just setting aside 15 minutes to update this blog.

I think everyone who wished, celebrated, came, sent me spices from Melbourne (Even though she's in Zurich - haha), gave me oranges/lemons (They have fed me really well yutaro and bwedon) cake (My sister and siyi orchestrated to have a ccake sent in from a local cafe which was sinfully good)and what not (you know who you guys are), deserve a HUGE

THANK YOU!!

the very cute apple pie from Shiyun and Aiping (I should have seen it coming!!) haha, the girls are ever so sweet as usual!! And the pictures are damn tat glam can. Piang eh! haha,..Trying to look sweet and young so that we don't differ too much from the photos...

One of the few shots I managed to capture of liner and my sister before they flew off to Zurich for his PhD. (Yes she IS pregnant.. and due in October!)
And here's a little shot of what the Shrek castle looks like in Universal Studios Singapore. And for some people, that's how my boyfriend looks like. haha.. Thanks =)) You make my life so airy fairy sometimes I think I've become blond. hehh..

I shall update a pictorial about the other 1000 updates that have happened so far. All right, my life isn't THAT interesting. I think the most memorial event so far since I've gotten back is when my scooter broke down just 150m from the workshop when I went to service it at a God forsaken place called Moorooka (even the name sounds stupid eh?) But the people there were awesome, thanks to Jawn for recommending that place, they didn't even charge for 'towing' my bike in! =) (Plus the guy at the counter was pretty cute...) But being surrounded by all the Kawasaki/Honda/Yamahahahas/ATV/motorcross dirt bikes was a little intimidating. haha. Do you know they start training little boys for motorcross? Like, their bikes are maybe a metre in length, and I saw this little 7-8 year old getting one with his dad. Shit man, those bikes are more powerful than mine!! (I feel disgraced). But they are SO awesome. I shall blog about that soon. Writing makes me happy= ) ACtually, writing CRAP makes me happy. muhahaha.

Peace out from the land of funny names like Moorooka, Woolongabba, Yerongapilly and Indooroopilly and Gayndah!

TV IS BAD FOR YOU

One of my most absolutely favourtie poems which I wish I adhered to more as a child. IT used to frighten me, because of all the stupidity I thought I would cause my child to have if I let him watch as much television as I did. I think Roald Dahl is absolutely brilliant!

Television
by Roald Dahl

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set
--Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink
--But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!
'We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?'
How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?
'Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rate and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts.
They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.


The television not only rots the mind of children, even I, a soon-to-be adult can feel my brain mushifying as I turned on Ellen Degeneres and moved on to Zoe Tay a half hour later. I just sat there slouching on the couch with my already small eyes getting smaller from the flashing images, bad acting and miserable scripts. (Fine I barely understood the chinese drama because it didn't have chinese subtitles). But television/youtube watching is the msoe PASSIVE thing ever. (Perhaps I should be the first to write the modern day version of 'Television' and call it 'Youtube'. Oooo... (don't steal my idea). Sometimes I envy the uni students doing Lit, they get to come up with their own original stuff and get graded for it, whereas in my pseudo-science-arts course, we just read other people's work, rephrase it and cite them so that it sounds like your own. Bullcrap! That's the beauty of arts (well, probably only in Lit/poetry class, because even Sociology and Law requires citations.

Oh well. Okay..
CUIWEN GET YOUR BRAIN STARTED AGAIN AND STOP LETTING IT ROT!!!

I just want to go home now =(

Retrospect

My first paper is finally over and I'm behaving as if my entire exam block is finished, which is HORRIBLE BEHAVIOUR! I spent the morning washing my massive laundry load and flooding the floor because I stupidly didn't remove my excess clothes from the draining sink. Oops. Which reminds me, just in case you feel lousy/stupid/useless or brainless today, here's a list of stupid bimbotic things my housemates have done. It just proves one thing, people aren't perfect, even (to be) professionals. =P

1) Exploded eggs in the microwave MULTIPLE times - certain lawyer-to-be
2) Set off sparks in teh microwave by putting single serve peanut butter with the foil cover still on - yours truly
3) Rushed and run to school only to realise that there is NO LECTURE - Ms physio
4) Using an assortment of paper clips to hold up hair during exam study period. - majority members of the house
5) Spending 10 minutes trying to wear a very complex blouse that has 2 layers intertwined by the most ridiculous manner ever - yours truly
6) Melted a plastic single serve of honey in the microwave... PLASTIC AND ALL - guess which microwavce fanatic


Ok I bet there're more, but they have either coneniently slipped my mind or I'm just choosing to forget =)

Either ways, I was reading Marky mark's blog (which I have never ever known about until recently. ya I'm a lousy girlfriend). And it's just amazing how everyone changes with time. I was blog hopping on my other friends' blogs too, and it's funny how you are able to track the progress of lives over years. You should all save your blog entries, just in case one day the internet is destroyed and we never get our records back again.

Wah my writing is so rubbishly lousy. I tink I spent to muts taim stardying science, den dunno how to rite orleady.

This time 2 weeks from now, I'll be back in sweltering, sticky, crowded, cheap singapore. BARBER TEA HERE I COME!!

Oops digressed (half my post isn't even CLOSE to the title) . Hehhh. You know how when you become voyeuristic and start reading people's blogs in hope of picking up juicy bits of info?? (Don't pretend, if you're reading this blog, you probably are one of those voyeurs~) haha, anyways, I feed you juicy info okok????

I'm crazy over this awesome dood who stays 2 hours from me in a pseudo farm-school and who talks non-stop and can talk to a anyone (even a rock) and who has cute fluffy hair, and who is as skinny as a string bean but eats as much as 2 cow-horses (cow + horse combination) and never ever gets fat, who fusses about his face (sometimes), who never washes his jeans unless its a holiday but changes at least 4 T-shirts in a day, who thinks drinking 3 litres of water is a cure for any illness and thinks that he'll die from eating Indomee, who makes farnie videos and acts as zombies in some of them (uh-um), who is someone jsut bursting with a million ideas and dreams, and who so happens to be my boyfriend =)))

(Btw this is probably the first time I'm mentioning this on a public website *gasp*)

Another week ends

Time is flying fast, it's flying TOO fast. I don't want my tertiary life to every end! I'm just going through a moment of nostalgia, today I decided to watch the 1998 local movie, The Teenage Textbook.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gVmpQu1RSA&feature=related

I don't know if many of you remember, we weren't really teenages when it came out, but I do recall reading the book somewhere in my secondary school life, along with the teenage workbook. It just gives that sense of nostalgia, care-free, happy-clappy kind of feel that you have whenever you look back at your life.

And then...!! I heard this song!



I was elated when I heard it because it was a song I always spent my teenage years looking for. It was a song I woke up to at 615 in the morning when my mum's radio would come on as an alarm. (Those mornings sucked because it meant going to school, but felt awesome as well because I would reach school before the sun rose). Come to think about it, I love it when the sun hasn't risen yet. You get the sense of feeling ahead of everyone, an unexplainable alertness, the air smells fresher, and the people are nicer (perhaps they're just sleepier). Many wouldn't share my sentiments of early early starts, but I do. =) I guess it's technically the same as working late late late into the night and getting that sense of calm, only at 6am, you'd probably have had enough sleep. =)

I discovered a couple more things this week:

1) Singaporeans aren't the only ones who like to complain, Aussies do to to a fair extent
2) I finally know the difference between AFL and NRL, and who the Lions and Broncos belong to respectively
3)Reading to your child is veryvery very good for them. Remember the buddy reading system? The government had it pretty spot on.
4) Drivers here are amazingly patient. I have still yet to be horned or cursed at despite my crazy driving.
5) With a scooter you feel like you can do anything... I drove on a pavement and made a dozen illegal, ridiculous, impossible U-turns ever since I got my scooter. Shhh don't tell my mum. :D

Boomz

Woke up at 5 only to waste the past 40 minutes not doing work when that was the whole bloody point of waking up when it's freezing cold instead of staying nice and warm in my blanket. I'm so sick of all this, just so sick of everthing that's going on. Screw it, I've got my own darn left to unscrew.

There're only a few things that really bother me or get me down. Well, actually it's pretty much one thing that umbrellas a number of small factors.

Expectations. More specifically, expectations which I set for myself. It doesn't matter if I'm not stick thin as long as I don't expect myself to be. It's all right if I don't have 1 million friends that I hang out with as long as I just expect that 1 to be there. But it does affect me when I get bogged down with catching up with work, moreover, work that I can't seem to get. I've concluded that I really really prefer science, because with science, all you need is a couple good summaries or good reads off the internet and comprehension isn't as much of a problem as memorisation is. It's the terms that might get to you, but besides that, science is straight forward. Cold, hard facts.

We've began touching on therapy and intervention methods for the child who says wabbit and tat and what not, and honestly, I don't see the bloody difference between the different methods. Same with the intervention for kids with language problems (generally more towards disabled kids who aren't even verbal), and I feel even more lost! How is rubbing the kid's feet or jumping around with them helping? ABA, Hanen, RILD JDJG DFJDD ADODOJDJD or whatever aconym it's just frustrating!!

I wanna be autistic now.

Times you feel like shit

I feel like crap, though it's pretty uncalled for and retarded. I feel brainless and useless. Gahhhhh

It's one of those periods where I wish I was just a mouldy spot on the wall and didn't have to live for the world.

I feel so brain dead that I'm determined a car crashed into me and killded my brain.


I need a hug =((( I want my mummy's cushie tummy to rub my face in. (Yes I still do that to my mum)

Sometimes I ask myself, how long more am I going to cuddle and hug my mummy till? Whenever I go back to her I become a child again, regardless of how old/massive/giant I am (my mum has shrunk considerably due to her aging porous bones and muscle atrophy) But she's still as cushi as ever and I love it =)

If she ever went for liposuction I'd be devastated.

I NEED A HUGGGGG

Interesting things in Good ole' Brissie

I realised I hadn't actually done a proper update regarding my new house etc in Brisbane and felt that it's high time I do it, regardless of whether people actually see it or not. It's awhole new feel this year, a whole new ball game at school too. Everyone's all warmed up and it kind of gives the same vibes as being in J2 again. I suppose it's because my course is so small and we actually see each other pretty much all the time (Our guy count has gone down to 2, aww) I just noticed how different the whole vibe and feel of the course is just because there aren't many guys in the course. Guy deprived.

ANYWAYS, yes back to the main point of this post. ( I jsut woke up and my fingers aren't very coordinated. They're typing clumsily) Pictures!!!!

This is what happens to you when you enter the household of Audrey/Siyi/Cui.. your IQ undoubtedly drops by 200 points and you hit rock bottom (if there actually is one) of the negative IQ scale and end up doing retarded things like this. The guy on the extreme right has already done plenty of regretable stupid things in our house, like paint his nails pink, get guy-liner drawn and get hooked on Glee. The rest of us are just normally retarded anyways (hurhur... oxymoron worrrr)

This is Condo my pet Praying Mantis which I kept for about a week! I let him go and he came back a couple of days later! I felt so touched and attached to him, he helped me eat like 5 moths in total. Don't ask me how he got his name, it's a long story. But from now, praying mantises (?) are my official favourite insect =)
I baked egg tarts during Easter break! Ok they were flat and kinda failed in my opinion, but I'm gonna work on them till I successfully make awesome tarts. Until then everyone's gonna have to eat my horrible flat tarts. Actually you know what, I won't call them egg tarts, I'm gonna call them flat tarts.
And my awesome scooter!! I HAVE A SCOOTER. I ACTUALLY OWN MY OWN VEHICLE! Man topping up petrol for the first time was so embarressing cos I didn't actually know what to do. How bimbo is that, hur..
Picture from a while back, this is the colour of the hair dye they used on me in china. It came up Red after that.

The path we go down

Isn't it amazing when you take a step back and look at all your friends that you have acquired over the years, how each one that you are considerably close to would probably be able to bring up significant reminders of a time that once was? For instance that one friend from your primary school whom you actually keep in contact with. Or the close clique you had in secondary school. They remind you of who you once were, regardless of whether you have changed (you probably have) over the years. I know this is a little random, but I was just thinking about it today when I read Roger's retarded April Fool's blogpost (haha, nice one Roger, but predictable of a man of your amazing bullshit ability level, haha)

Havingn old friends is an amazing thing, but I find that they might hold you back as well. Not in the literal 'don't do this' sense, but subtle things like viewpoints, mannerisms, outlooks and what not. Especially with girls, since we are (mostly) social creatures who can't seem to shut up when we're around our kind. (heh) But the dangerous thing to me is ending up talking and revolving about the same thing over and over and losing perspective about larger things.

A Psyc lecture I had about aging brought something really interesting to my attention, something regarding older people and friends. To many of us young ones, we look at the old granny and say 'aiyo, so poor thing, she no friends'. The logical thing is to presume that it's because either all her friends are dead, or she's a little mentally unstable at that age and hence cannot keep friends. Contrary to popular belief, the opposite might actually be true. The fact is, this old granny is CHOOSing her friends and cutting them off as she ages, to optimise and maintain a high 'standard' of friends. In all honestly, I never thought of it that way until that lecture. However I already begin to see myself displaying behaviours as such, which, at the yound tender age of 20+ may not actually be all that healthy.

My point? I have no idea. Precisely why this site is called blabber, whether or not it's ACTUALLY interesting is another matter. Heh..

At this rate...

Time has been zipping past so fast that at this rate, I'm never going to get to experience life.

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to fast forward and rewind what you like?

I feel like a child at times. I just want to explode and disappear like a bubble popping sometimes. Sometimes I wish I were as airheaded and brainless as a bubble. How fantastic it is to not have a brain hey?

Anxiety

Anxiety is a a scary, frightful thing. Your heart beats uncontrollably, crescendoing and amplifying as each second passes, giving the impression that it's just about to spill our of your nose. Then the throat gets dry, and stuck, stiff as if someone has shoved cement down your throat. Swallowing becomes akin to rubbing sandpaper on granite, and the lump never seems to go away even after each swallow. Your voice cracks and comes out with such an uncontrollable quiver such that you think you'll never be able to calm that vocal earthquake. Then you realise that you have to think. The thoughts just fly, ramble, zip zoom and spawn like a overflowing store cupboard that has been accidentally opened. There's no longer rationality. All reminders and mental notes are thrown out of the mental window like a piece of rubbish. You find yourself just fighting and struggling to stay afloat all that chaos, like a drowning cat in the turbulent sea. Muscles you never knew existed tense and contract and spasm. Soon my forehead aches because of the frown. My shoulders arch to the extent of Frankenstein-ness and the teeth clench, gnash and bite. fingers get clumsy and jittery as you try to operate something as simple as the keyboard.

A million things go through your mind. Even writing them in hope of seeing some organisation fails to allay the worry. The stress. The anxiety. Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.

Cancer shouldn't be the number one killer, I reckon stress is.




I just want to go home and never have to face the world again. Sometimes being a cow, pig or any other source of meat doesn't seem such a bad idea after all.

Milestones

This semester's courses begin getting more and more relevant and interesting. There's one about voice disorders, child speech and language disorders, boring physiology and one about child development. You know how people always talk about milestones in relation to children? For example, when they first smile (5-6 weeks), sit up on their own (5-6 months), crawl (9-12 months) walk (12 months) and all that stuff which makes everyone go ''Oooo!!! Clever boy!! Know how to pang sai already!!''

Yeah, those milestones.

I feel as if we all have milestones of our own, set by parents, ourselves, and society especially. When we enter university, when we learn how to drive, when we learn to cook for ourselves, do our own laundry, stop sleeping in the same bed as mummy, or stop having that smelly old bolster. Basically, when we suck it in and grow up. Sometimes I wonder when I'll grow up. People might say I'm independant or mature or able to handle myself and things in general, (yes I'm bragging, but wait, there's more to come!) but put me in a place where I feel safe and comfortable and I become a total baby. For instance, put me in my room and I cling on to my bolster( affectionately called booboo) for dear life and sniff up all the dust mites embedded in the 17 year old cotton. Or let me go back to Singapore and I'm STILL share a room and bed with my mum even though there's another room. I'm not embarressed to say I still sleep in the same room as my mum, cos I know if I don't, she'll whine and scream and shout like a kid. (For those of you who know my mum, you know how much she acts cute la). But I feel it's the least I can do for her because that's one of the few things she asks of me; to not leave her alone at night when I'm back in Singapore. It's amazing how I still feel a child even though I'm going to be 21 this year.

New House, New Life... Perhaps.

I'm finally calm and rested enough to finally sit down on a proper chair, in front of a proper desk with a lamp and someone else's internet (As usual), and type this all out. As I finish this sentence, the internet which I'm piggybacking on wavers and disconnects like, 200 times. Oo, did I mention that there's a monster of a grasshopper sitting next to me? He's about TTTTHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS long. Heh.

I swear or house can be the new Insect Safari of Carmody Road. We've had 3 grasshoppers, 2 cockroaches including a baby one in our grilled chicken today, about 2938 moths, 82927 mosquitoes and random flying things, and probably 6-7 resident lizards. Not to mention the whole family of spiders I swept away this morning who built their empire behind our shoe rack in a short 2 days. I swear, it's like the bugs just nest and build homes on anything that doesn't move for more than 24 hours!

As horrid, scary, creepy, eeky or what ever it sounds, it's still an awesome home. I guess after spending the last 21 years of my life living in various high rise places far from soil/ground is finally coming back to hit me now. Isn't it amazing how different 2 countries can be? I went for this survey job last Saturday whereby we knocked on the doors of houses in a low SES community. In my mind, I was initially thinking, 'what d'ya mean poor?? These people live on LANDED property and have CARS'

Then again the poor in India live in landed properties in slums and have bicycles too.

I'll be honest and say that these few days have been rather traumatic. My bed feels funny, the room is not like the breezy, massive IH one and everything I have is either stuffed in a random box somewhere or hidden among lumps of stuff. And I sorely need my private chillout space to just nuah, or play the guitar, or pluck my eyebrows, or stare at my own reflection and reflect (haha pun intended). None. I'm just living by the moment from day to day.

But then again it isn't that bad, my housemate's pretty cool and capable at doing plenty of stuff. Much to my delight.

I want my mummy... =( All you who read this,

GO HUG YOUR MUMMY/DADDY/SIBLING/GRANDPARENT NOW AND GIVE THEM THE APPRECIATION THEY DESERVE.

GO!!!

The ironic inefficiency

AFter spending a year overseas, (well, to be honest, it works out to be about 8 months only), one of the most notable differences between the easterners and westerners is this: Efficiency. Looking at these different Asian civilisations; Korea, Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, one thing comes to mind. These people are incredibly efficient. Well, at least for most of the time. Internet connections are everywhere, and are at the speed of light. Such that the term 'Broadband' or 'Dialup' is such a thing of the past that we can no longer imagine any country still depending on these connections. Phillippines still uses dialup, and my now-pseudo-home Australia primarily uses Broadband connections. (I've probably whined about this countless times as to how we have a limited data quota every month) Hello, all the iPhone users in Singapore now have data plans of 12Gb a month (which essentially is limitless considering how much that can actually get you on a phone!). And there I was in Brisbanem, surviving on 5Gb for the entire semester (proud to say that I didn't even finish that 5Gb!)

Anyways, here's the ironic thing I've noticed ever since I've been back. We pride ourselves how efficiently we do things. How we're so small and well connected that we can reach the other end of the island in less than an hour. How we can get phonelines, internet lines or television channels set up in less than 2 days. How we can cook obtain a meal from the nearest hawker centre in less than 10 minutes and how out NTUC cashiers can scan so furiously and bag so quickly you wouldn't even know what hit you. But here's the thing, smses in Aus cost 15 cents each, whilst they cost nothing here. So when I came back this time, sms-ing people was such a PAIN because it ends up taking people 10 smses to conclude that: "Ok, we shall meet at 2pm at Bugis."

Why is this so? Because people just simply reply without initiating something progressive. When are you free? tmr. Shall we meet? ok. What time is good for you and where? I got school in the morning.

This alone takes up 3 smses each, in Ozzie cents/sense (pun intended), 45 cents. repeat this process several times and low and behold, lotsa marnie wasted. Not ot mention time and precious thumb action. I hate sms-ing. And I thought that if I called people, I'd get the job done quicker. Ironically again, NO. Nobody calls anymore! Out of 5 calls I make, 4 will be unsuccessful cos people no longer look at their phones expecting calls. People expect only smses, which free you from the obligation of immediate answering and decision making.

I can't wait to go back to the world of phonecalls.

Egypt 2010!

The sphynx and pyramids! I went inside a pyramid... It's all rock. Hahaa

Yes that's a baby crocodile on my head

I write this as I sit on the top deck on the River Nile cruise we’ve been on for a couple of days now. The wind in Egypt is surprisingly chilly today, even though yesterday it was a sweltering 30 degrees. IT was soo hot that I think my brain expanded and couldn’t contract for the next few hours, leaving me with a throbbing headache and a runny nose.

Egypt is EXTREMELY exciting. How so you might ask?

1) There are NO traffic rules in Egypt. The only one the guide suggested was, when it’s a red light, you go. When it’s a green light, you go faster. There are no lanes whatsoever. I never thought I’d see a city road with no car lanes! And signalling is practically redundant because the horning never stops. People just horn for every single reason, whether it’s to say ‘hey move faster’ or ‘hey there’s a cat on the street’ or ‘hey, my horn sounds cool’. They just NEVER stop horning. So can you imagine how my mum and I crossed the road? IT took us a full 5 minutes to make our way across a couple of large roads without getting killed!

2) Touts are EVERYWHERE. We get the same phrase said to us about 200 times a day which goes somewhat like this:

‘Hello, Japanese?’ –no- ‘Chinese?’ – no- ‘Korean?’ –no-

Or some helpful stranger will kindly help you cross the road or point you in the right direction, but not actually bring you to where you wanna go before pulling you to their shop or their father’s shop or their brother’s wife’s nephew’s friend’s shop. I think my mum and I have been pulled into these kind of shops about 3 times in 2 days. I must say though, they are extremely hospitable by nature. Not that it’s always about the sales. But because of all the ripping off that goes about, tourists aren’t brave enough to trust them, which is the sad part about this awesome country. Prices they quote you are about 10 times more than what the goods are worth. However, I did get a couple of free perfume bottles because the guy was really nice. I think we were supposed to tip him or at least return the favour by buying something, but I’m thick skinned enough to not fall into this social pressure and just accept the gift without reciprocating. Well, I did let the guy kiss my hands and cheeks like 200 times though.

3) There’re LOADS of funny animals in Egypt! I got to ride a camel (yes, it was quite pricey, $14 for 10minutes of ass wobbling walking) But it was SO fun. I would do it again without hesitation. I would even take the camel around the pyramids if I could!! It was that fun. Because camels are SO tall, you really get a different view of everything around you. I also got to hold a 6 month old baby crocodile! What’s more, I got to put it on my head!! Well, the guy put it on my head. But how cool is that??? And there were adorable kittens an puppies all over. I haven’t seen strays is ages, both in Singapore and in Brisbane. Sad that these little guys were a little scrawny and mangly though.

4) Walking around Cairo or the suburbs of Cairo itself can be exciting on it’s own cos you never know when you may die. Nah I’m kidding. It’s just really different to see confusing alleys, bad sewage and flies in hordes of 100 million at a time.

And of course Egyptian history is fascinating. =)

New Year!

I was sponging off some random’s wireless internet like how I’ve been guiltily been doing over the past couple of days and decided to start visiting random blogs again just to past time. My grandma’s staying for a week, meaning that I’m not to leave the house when she’s at home because it’s just better to have someone with her just in case. Honestly, I almost wanted to shoot myself, the day dragged on like a slow loris on the freaking PIE. I swear, lethargy can hit you like a flu man.. It should be classified as a disease and not a state of mind.

Anyways, blog hopping has been awfully boring ever since I went over to Brisbane because the only blogs I read are the ones of those close to me for the purpose of keeping updated with their lives. And the limited internet quota concept of Brisbane is by far the most ridiculous thing a first world country/continent can still have in place. Come on man! Internet ain’t THAT precious, why are you charging us $1/GB?? (If you actually counted the amount of data you used each day, you’d be surprised). Anyways, back to the blog hopping, I was reading Oily’s girlfriend’s blog, and boy is she brilliant. (Credit to oily for having one of those artsy type girlfriends) Btw, darrell if you’re reading this, sorry but I couldn’t help but share her brilliance! (Wah… now don’t let your head get so big ok)

She wrote this piece of poetry, here’s just a paragraph which I found to be so apt, well thought and perfectly expressed:

Forgive my imprudence, but
Would it be wrong to say that my love for you,
Is like the ebb and flow of the tide?
Sometimes it retreats and other times it overwhelms,
Teeming and frothing,
Volatile yet cold?

Wow.

It appropriately described the feeling of, well, I wouldn’t use the word love, but more of the ‘generic’ feelings one has for her partner. I wouldn’t know if this were to make sense to a guy, because as a girl I know this definitely sounds like how I feel sometimes. Blame it on our fickle minds, blame it on our bloody pain-in-the-ass hormones fluctuating all the time, but face it guys, girls are like that. I bet the term love-hate was coined by a girl. Isn’t it amazing? Just think of it, how two contradicting feelings can exist in one at the same instant.

I stopped blogging like that for a while now. Lately it’s all just picture updates, random quirks or bimbo entries so that readers don’t get bored of self-indulgent ramble. I know I hate it when I see long wordy posts.

But screw it.

My linguistic capability is screwed up enough already, not getting to write proper non-scientific essays for the rest of my life isn’t helping as well. I’ve gotten so used to writing Psyc essays which have sentences not running for more than 15 words at a time (Including citations). Not to mention that I’ve always been the geeky sciency one in the family, unlike my mum and sister who were fully fledged, non mathematical arts students throughout their lives. Blogging used to be the time I get to reflect and pen it all down because writing is just too slow.

All right then. I’ve decided that I’m going to go back to THINKING and writing again. My brain has been stale for far too long.