Monday, January 28, 2013

Growing Up

Having spent merely a week as a true working adult (the last time I did I was 19, so that's not officially 'adult' age yet), and so quickly having my first paid public holiday, and then now having a half day/day off because I am unable to access my work place/town due to the flooded roads, I decided to finally sit my bum down after a long 2 months and put up something on the blog.

I remember the time I first started this blog, and would have tonnes of 'aha!' moments where I thought about issues and posts I could write about. Those who have read and followed might notice that this nature of penning my thoughts changed quite a bit and I moved towards more factual or anecdotal posts as opposed to purely opinionated ones. Probably half due to me getting lazy and using pictures to speak, and the other half due to brain proteins denaturing from underuse.

Anyways, long story short, I had been debating internally as to whether I should continue blogging, let's just say due to confidentiality issues. But then I had one of those 'aha' moments on Friday when I got back from Kingaroy and thought, now I should write this down somewhere regardless. (And now, since I'm sitting and waiting unknowingly for the roads to be reopened I thought I should just do it now).


As I was getting into my car for the gazillionth time on Friday to go to a friend's place, I had this sudden thought that ran through my mind,

Gosh, I'm an adult. 

I remember watching a movie not too long ago called by the name of 'Courageous', and one of the men asked his fellow colleagues this question:
When was the moment you knew that you were no longer a boy, but a man?

One said it was when he passed his driving, another said it was when his dad told him he was and so on. That made me really ask myself recently, when did I become an adult? Did I have that moment where I said 'Yes I am' or that sudden sense of pride? I suppose I had always thought of myself as an almost-adult ever since getting on my scooter in 2010 and filling up my own tank with $5 worth of petrol, but I knew I still had much to learn, and that I still would not be taken seriously. 

Is there an age where I would be certain I was an adult? I time where I wouldn't do anything stupid? I suppose as children or youths, we think adults are mature and never make mistakes, when in fact they still do, more often than we think. I remember looking at our teachers with great respect, regardless of their age (except for the dodgy 19 year old relief teachers we got once in a while that were so obviously still children). But now that I'm suddenly on the other side of education, and actually being almost one and the same with teachers, I realise that, they are still like any other young girl out there, still wanting to live their lives, still cracking silly jokes, making silly mistakes or acting young. Our teachers just knew how to conduct themselves when they were in front of us, and probably when they returned to their staff rooms, they had their nail and hair talk, whinge and whine sessions, or gossip about the cute PE teacher or what not. 

What I've decided so far is, it's a gradual process. And for now, despite feeling slightly more like an adult buying insurance, and taking into consideration other financial issues, I feel quite sure that I'm probably not going to feel like a complete adult until I have a child at least. (Even some mums I know now seem very much a child themselves). When does it change? I don't know. When did it, or when will it for you?


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