My Mama

Mama & Renita, who has lovingly been by Mama's side for over 10 years I reckon.

As I listened to Monday''s lecture on Aged Care on lectopia last night and heard our lecturer narrating a strong and provoking narrative/article by Emma Elliot entitled 'A Woman Today - My Name is Mrs Simon' recounting her mother and her ordeal at an American hospital during her mother's dying days, I couldn't help but be strongly moved and reminded of my own grandmother. Yes, this article was written in 1984, where awareness and treatment of aged persons was not as established and probably, seemingly inhumane to a certain degree. Despite this, it still doesn't mean that some of the misconceptions about elderly people do not float around in our minds once in a while.

Please have a read of the article here and turn to page 8 of the pdf document. I promise you won't be disappointed.

I didn't share/tell many around me, but just a mere 3 weeks ago, my grandma in KL (whom we all refer to as Mama), passed away at home while resting one morning. It was something sudden, and till now, I still sometimes am trying to accept that I won't be going to KL in the middle of the year to see her, to buy her peanut butter with rice crispies, or to listen to all the gossip she has to share after being the 'go-to' person in the family. It essentially was the first death that mattered to me and my sister, as Mama had taken care of us and been part of our entire lives.

Most of my close friends would've had met Mama at least once before as well. I know she never really could remember all your names (especially shiyun and aiping, because they're chinese names, haha), but she always did remember you guys. I know Aiping has used her 'hair-growth advice even! and I am so thankful that you guys got to meet her, talk to her and interact with her, because as a child, and up till now, I've been always very proud of my grandma.

For one, she's an English-educated lady who was a primary school teacher for many years of her life, and English educated grandparents seemed a rare find even now! Yes? I loved it when people said, wow your grandma is so eloquent! And in my mind I always felt damn proud of that. I was also proud of how even after having lost the vision in 1 eye after a botched cataract surgery, she would still finish reading all my novels in the house with a magnifying glass, slouched in the sofa like a teenager (she slouched!). I was proud that she lived healthy, alert and active till the ripe age of 94+ (I think, mum says her DOB is stated to be 1918, but that it isn't accurate because paperwork wasn't very organised during her day, and that she was actually older than that). And that she didn't ever need to go to a nursing home for that matter! (Kudos to my youngest aunt whom she lived with for many many years too).

I'm proud of my grandma for being the 'funky mama' and wearing pink shades at one stage, allowing herself to wear bright lovely jackets and not letting her age stop or restrict her, and I'm proud of how took care of all her grandchildren (all 12 of us) at one or more stages of our lives.

Little Pink Riding Mama!

She was a strong lady, who worked and took care of her 6 children while teaching and managed to produce a family of intelligent, accomplished individuals who now each have their own families to bring up.

She taught Renita, my aunt's helper for more than a decade, to cook amazing dishes like popiah - including the skin! The amount of things I learned from her is amazing. She taught me to knit, to make tang yuen, to help get rid of ringworm on heads (garlic). She taught me to carve/butcher a whole chicken (head, feet and backside included), she read to me and with me, she helped me with my art and craft SO many times when I was in primary school, she told me so much about her experience in WWII, and her life as a little girl, she taught me to cross stitch, and sewed my bolster (boo boo) whenever it had holes, giving it new casings and coverings when it wore out when I was younger, and I remember how we once embarked on a project to make my sister's teddy a new pyjama suit, which actually just ended up as her sewing and me running around watching television.

Most importantly, I learnt from her that embracing your age and your life as you get older is the most important and essential in living a life of good quality. Remaining cheerful, having a positive outlook, and not letting things get you down. Sure there were days she felt crappy I'm sure, and there were times she would grumble a little about aches in her legs, but she didn't let it get to her, and I would think that she accommodated, and managed her children well, up to the end.

Mama will definitely be missed by many, not just me and the grand kids and kids.