Thursday, May 13, 2010


Woke up at 5 only to waste the past 40 minutes not doing work when that was the whole bloody point of waking up when it's freezing cold instead of staying nice and warm in my blanket. I'm so sick of all this, just so sick of everthing that's going on. Screw it, I've got my own darn left to unscrew.

There're only a few things that really bother me or get me down. Well, actually it's pretty much one thing that umbrellas a number of small factors.

Expectations. More specifically, expectations which I set for myself. It doesn't matter if I'm not stick thin as long as I don't expect myself to be. It's all right if I don't have 1 million friends that I hang out with as long as I just expect that 1 to be there. But it does affect me when I get bogged down with catching up with work, moreover, work that I can't seem to get. I've concluded that I really really prefer science, because with science, all you need is a couple good summaries or good reads off the internet and comprehension isn't as much of a problem as memorisation is. It's the terms that might get to you, but besides that, science is straight forward. Cold, hard facts.

We've began touching on therapy and intervention methods for the child who says wabbit and tat and what not, and honestly, I don't see the bloody difference between the different methods. Same with the intervention for kids with language problems (generally more towards disabled kids who aren't even verbal), and I feel even more lost! How is rubbing the kid's feet or jumping around with them helping? ABA, Hanen, RILD JDJG DFJDD ADODOJDJD or whatever aconym it's just frustrating!!

I wanna be autistic now.


Anonymous said...

Diane, you are a smart, intelligent,capable young woman who generally always has her sh** together and makes us mere mortals wonder how the hell you look so composed. Ayy autism...particularly severe cases, omg, can you comprehend life with an autistic boyfriend/child/mum?

Anyways, regarding your blog, I love it. always have, always will. so shd track blogs, altho I read back over my 12 year old diary musings of emo poetry 'My weight is this. I need to be this' (bleugh, damn britney spears and her abs' influence on our tweeny minds)'I hate my always-angry dad' and 'I hate humans, wanna be a vet' and etc etc so it's quite disturbing to read...It's funny now girls go through that schtuff even earlier, don't you hate picturing your little ones saying 'omg I'm a whale' at say seven? :O Or worse, playing with Lady Gaga dolls?


tehee! not telling you who I am..,Sam I Am, with Green Eggs and Ham, I Yam what I Yam...Go Eat A Yam, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!

Narcissist said...

Haha, thanks for your comments Anonymous =) They made my day, and no I don't always have my shit together, more often than not, it's hitting the fan, just that I've learnt to ignore the mess sometimes or just explode when I get home.

And of course we've had the teachers tell us countless times how the life of families and carers of autistic children are more often than not, crappy. (Which is why I want to be the autistic kid and not the parent/boyfriend). But of course, whatever goes on in their minds can be equally frustrating for them, seeing that it can be like being a fish out of water.

Anyways, real fun comments =) I never thought anyone else read my blog, haha (You just boosted my ego substantially).