I admit that I did experience a slight annoyance and disappointment at the conductor's decision to scrap the Chrysenthemum Tea song. I saw it coming as soon as the cello screeched and the bass entered at the wrong time. Don't take me wrongly, it's not as if they were the reason why it flopped, just that they were the start of all of us (ok me) screwing up. Despite the 'damn-wasted-la' feeling, I was soon overwhelmed by a wave of relief and gladness. I can honestly say that even my unfeelingness towards the decision to scrap the song, considering how many hours I spent listening, arranging, writing and stressing over the bloody song, was pretty surprising even to me. The only reason I'd be upset would be because I feel that I've let the other 'hua-hua' members down, because I saw that look in each of their faces. I truly, truly apologise to those who really wanted the song and those who made the effort to set aside time for the piece. And I'm sorry for just sitting there and not attempting to salvage the song in any manner as Sheng told us that we couldn't perform, because part of me wanted the piece to be srapped. Sorry for just letting the matter go just like that, the song has drained me to such an extent that I really didn't want to perform it any more than I did. I truly apologise because I feel that it really is largely my fault for arranging it in a manner so shitty that it was, according to Sheng, near impossible to perform, and for not arranging for more practices (with the bloody locked pianos) before this 'presentation'.
However I did feel sorely misjustified at first, considering that I'd just sat through a freaking loooooong SAT paper and that we were lacking 3 crucial instruments and that we hadn't had warning about this sudden 'audition'. But I told myself, 'Stop making excuses.' Because seriously, I'm sure he can tell whether we can or cannot make it. (But I didn't like the fact that he made it sound as if we were all disillusioned with our playing) Hello, even a deaf person can tell we sucked la.
But I can tell you another thing that's for certain, I'm going to be a way, Way , WAY happier person at least for this week, cos I no longer have that retarded Chrysenthemum Song on auto-replay in my head! [The headaches have disappeared yet again!] I'm going to treat my section like a bunch of princesses for this week!! Yes, sorry for being a shitty SL the last couple of weeks. I owe you guys man!
Happy!!! Even the heat was bearable today! haha... I'm going down EARLY tomorrow to 'choup' the aircon classrooms so that PEOPLE can't say that CELLO SECTION didn't COME ON TIME to get a classroom. whatever shit la.